For some people self-confidence fails them when they need it most, and they find they often give up on something, convinced it is a pointless exercise and they will not succeed. The most successful men and women in the world today all have faith in themselves with their success in varied fields such as business, sport, science or where they have had the faith in themselves to push themselves.
A lack of self confidence shows up in different situations such as a job interview, a sales situation but just as well in everyday life. If you have little self confidence, you may not even be able talk to people in the first place, be it a guy or girl you like, or people you work with and want to get on with.
Now you may think that people with low self confidence are like that for a reason, but a lot of people who are successful have had low self confidence in the past and managed to overcome it. There are a variety of reasons why people have no self confidence, and more often than not, it isn’t down to them actually being as inadequate. as they may feel they are.
Often building self confidence is getting back to where a lack of self confidence originally came from. It might be a particular event, often in childhood, such as being bullied or being in an embarrassing situation. It could also be that in the past you have tried at something and failed even though it may not have been your fault, you may have lost self-confidence through this disappointment.
By pinpointing an event or series of events that may have caused your lack of self-confidence you can then analyse them, why did they happen? And was it actually your fault? If you were bullied for example it was probably just bad luck that you were picked on and even though they called you names it doesn’t mean what they said was true especially once you have grown up and developed into more of your own person. These myths may be in your subconscious, but you need to dispel them for yourself.
Having done this you need to start thinking about times you have been successful, reminding yourself how it made you feel and telling yourself that as you have been successful in the past you can be now. The biggest thing though, is to tell yourself that for things you never have tried, you won't know whether you can succeed until you try, realising that the "worst case scenario" is never as bad as imagined.
If you are struggling with self confidence to do a specific thing, one technique is to simply start smaller and "chunk down". Do things that use the same skills and abilities that you don’t have confidence in but where the effort may be lower and where the risk may be smaller. As an example if you want to ask a guy or a girl out for a date but are shy and scared of rejection try something like smiling at a passer by to see if you get a reaction. That will start building confidence in yourself. Or try going on to an internet chat room to practice your flirting in a risk free environment with some strangers who you will never actually have to meet. Become confident in "small-stepping".
Some people’s self confidence comes down to an element of who they are which they feel that they can’t change but which they are embarrassed of in some ways. People are often scared of what people may think, but ask yourself do these people actually have a right to react in a negative way to you?
Be happy with who you are. Yes, some people in the world are unpleasant, but there are plenty who aren’t and will accept you for who you are. Stick with the people who add something positive to your life, and choose to ignore comments from people who don't.
Remember, most people, even those who seem confident have some insecurities and no-one is perfect. It is simply that some people have learnt more intuitively how to be happy with who they are and you can as well.
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